after luke looked outside the window this morning he turned to me and said, "i'm sad". i was honestly a bit surprised by his statement and asked him "why?". he quickly looked back out the window and then back at me and then said, "because there is no sun. i don't know why mom, i just feel sad when it is so gloomy outside." in that moment i wanted to immediately tell him he was crazy for feeling that way and point out all the fabulous things we had planned for the day and point out to him all the fun things we had done over the weekend. instead, something deep within me told me just to hold him and tell him it was ok to feel that way. we stood in the foyer for a few moments like that and then he pulled away and began sharing with me all the things he was looking forward to. by the time he was finished tying up his shoes we were both laughing and by the time we walked out the door for school he told me he wasn't sad any more.
sometimes i think we just need permission to feel the way we feel. yes, sometimes feelings are based on truths but sometimes feelings are just feelings that don't seem to make any sense. i know for me personally, when i'm experiencing a feeling that doesn't make sense to me logically i do one of two things; push it way down and pretend like i'm ok or i try to find something logical to attach my feeling to. rarely do i give myself permission to just rest in the anxiety of the "feeling" let alone lay it at the cross and believe God can handle it. seeing luke today struggle through his own feelings of sadness i couldn't help but pray for wisdom in how to best communicate with him and give him the space to feel and find refuge in not only a family who loves him but a savior who died for him.
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