random :: leap of faith

When was the last time you actually took a leap of faith? Not just thought about it or romanced the idea of it - but actually stepped off the ledge and lept. Even in asking the question I am reminded of an image I saw this weekend. My sweet nephew jumping off the ledge of the pool. The most impactful part of this image was watching him fall with no hesitation and then sink. Of course one of his parents was near by to pull him up above the waters, but there was always that moment with every step from the edge when he just sank. What I found to be so remarkable was that when he came out of the water he wasn't frightened or scared - he was laughing. He didn't know to be afraid of drowning. He stepped off the edge knowing his parents were within arms reach, although not necessarily open to catch him and he enjoyed the ride. For whatever reason I haven't been able to get that imagery out of my mind. Yes, it was adorably cute and who doesn't love to see a baby belly laugh! However, the imagery stirred something deeper within me. I tell myself I am available and willing to leap believing my creator will catch me or pull me from the waters, but I'm afraid of drowning. I find myself afraid to take the journey. I find myself debating within myself if I am being called to jump from the ledge at all or if I am making the entire story up in my mind to begin with. Why do we play these mind tricks with ourselves - why can't we believe what we say we believe in. Why can't I trust like my nephew.