i have started to realize that dave and i parent through bribes. if i was honest, i'm sure i swore i would never say things like, "if you are good, i will give you something special", like my own parents did on occasion, which drove me crazy. and yet there we were last night running errands all over town, passed bed time and before dinner (we did have mc d's around 9:45pm), asking our kids to be good so they could get "a special treat". dave, in all his wisdom, announced in the car what the special treat would be as the kids screeched a squirmed in the back seats, "we are going to meijers and you each can pick out your own cereal". the screeching increased as the kids enthusiasm and excitement escalated with thoughts of marshmallows, chocolate and funny shaped cereals.
once in the aisle, i realized what we had done. we had opened flood gates. as i looked down that aisle and squatted down to my kids perspective i thought, we are going to be here forever - how are any of them going to be able to make a choice, let alone a "good" one. granted, i went into this knowing full well none of my kids were going to choose Raisin Bran or Cherrios, but there was a little bit of me that hoped that one my many lessons on good eating habits would ring between their ears. watching my kids run up and down the aisle, grabbing a box, giggling, holding onto it for a minute until finding another intriguing box to switch it with reminded me of the crazy world we live where the healthy and good things for us are overshadowed by the dramatically bold and bright which typically have little to no nutritional value.
life is hard and full of choices and consequences. i'm so thankful i walk with a God who is there to help me make better choices and in turn experience good and healthy consequences. i sit here this morning overwhelmed and broken hearted for my family - knowing that i am unable to make any decision for them, that they must make it on their own. i hate that i am unable to scoop them up and rescue the innocent ones caught up in this mess. i hate that all i can do is pray, because it doesn't seem like enough. i hate that my faith doesn't seem big enough to believe God can restore this family. my heart is broken and yet i know i must persevere, for the sake of my beautiful husband and kids.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
we spent the afternoon at the beach today! wow, it was a gorgeous day. the last few days have been very blaahhh, and i was beginning to think fall was closer than i wanted it to be. however, today was an awesome reminder that summer is still here. the water was even warm enough for mommy to go swimming :) even with all sorts of fun going on lilly still found a need to put on her pouty lip. i'm not sure what she wanted or was mad at, but i love that i got a picture of it!
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
we celebrated ally and lilly's birthdays together this last saturday. ally turned 6 on the 27th and lilly turned 4 on the 31st. it was a beautiful day full of family, friends and laughter.
when i asked lilly what kind of birthday she wanted, she requested a "baby birthday". she told me, "everyone has to bring their baby to the party, and if they don't have a baby they can bring a baby doll." lilly loves her babies, she plays with them virtually all day long. it was so much fun watching her open all of her new "baby" things.