day 60 - late dinner date

i was able to meet up with dave for a very late dinner.  i am so thankful for him and all we have.  he forwarded me the following verse earlier in the day and i thought i would share it....

 

Leviticus 26:4-6

⁴ I will send you rain in its season, and the ground will yield its crops and the trees their fruit. ⁵ Your threshing will continue until grape harvest and the grape harvest will continue until planting, and you will eat all the food you want and live in safety in your land.  ⁶ “‘I will grant peace in the land, and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid. I will remove wild beasts from the land, and the sword will not pass through your country.

day 59 - magic

one trend that seems to be finding some longevity in our house is magic.  caleb over the last several months has grown a deep love and excitement for magic.  he almost always has a deck of cards in his pocket and i am almost guaranteed to be bombarded with, "mom, watch this new trick" within the first 60 seconds of walking in the door.

i love his enthusiasm.  the other fun thing to watch is him teach his brother and seeing him encourage luke.  the two of them will spend hours laughing and mastering new tricks.  oh, and he is getting pretty good.  more times than not, these days, i have no idea how he did it!! 

day 58 - crying in the shower

i can find myself tearing up while watching extreme home makeover or a hokey hallmark commercial.  i may shed a tear or two at a good movie, like beaches.  however, i don't really cry all that often.  real crying gives me a headache, my nose run and makes me feel helpless, insecure and out of control.  who wants to feel that way?  in that space where your emotions cause you physical pain and you begin to lose your grip on reality it can be a bit scary.

tonight i found myself really crying.  the safest place to release those emotions seemed to be in the shower for me tonight.  no, there is nothing wrong in our family.  nobody is hurt or sick.  i just found myself in unfamiliar territory this evening where i was caught off guard and the proverbial rug was pulled out from under me.  however, seeking wisdom and discernment in your response is weirdly empowering (once you've got yourself up off the floor and out of the shower).

day 57 - prototypes

i am in the world of prototyping so i thought it would be fun to share some of the fabric i am printing on to make pillow prototypes.  although i am immersed in work - it is always fun to see your designs come off the printer! 

day 56 - work

What happens when you work 12 hours on a Saturday? You miss out on a birthday party, miss out on working the oscars (again), get a lot done, still feel like you have a million miles to go, don't get a picture for the day...
It's a good thing I love what I do and who I work with and ultimately know this season will be short lived.

day 55 - pain

I pray i never have to manage chronic pain. For anyone out there who lives through their pain - I don't know how you do it. I have experienced pain. As in child birth, kidney stones, broken ribs AND migraines.
I have suffered from migraines since I was in junior high. Although they are not something that I live with both day and night - day after day, I have suffered through the debilitating pain of of headaches for a long time.
Today I had one of the worst experiences with a headache ever! I found myself unable to move, open my eyes, keep food down, it was awful. It was amazing that after I was finally home with meds and having slept for 2.5 hours I was good as new. Meds are amazing and I am so thankful for them!!!

day 54 - standardized tests

It's funny the things you remember. Growing up in michigan I can remember taking the MEAP test and the teachers insisting on us not missing those days of school. I don't remember taking them all that seriously, to be honest. Now that my kids are taking the tests I have very different observations.
Last week we received Luke and Lilly's scores. Based on both of their scores in virtually every area my youngest two are "not proficient" or "partially proficient". I stood there staring at their scores and felt myself first wanting to defend my children knowing how hard both of them work both in the classroom and at home. Then I started to get angry and felt this overwhelming desire to fight the system and "the man" who wanted to peg my children as not proficient when I'm certain they are amazing (yes, spoken like a true mother).
Then today came and we received Caleb's MEAP scores which reflected "advanced" in every area. Although I was proud of him, it made me think. Caleb is not necessarily any smarter than our other two - he is just different. He is the type of personality/student a standardized test is made for, Luke and Lilly are not.
I guess I can understand why these tests are necessary to measure the success of a school/district. But what do they really tell us about our kids and what are we communicating to our kids based on these results? I know for a fact that Luke has an incredible aptitude for math. At times it is shocking what he is able to discern and yet because a test scores him as not proficient, what are we to gather from that data? That he doesn't test well! I could have told you that :)
I am thankful to have the opportunity to walk alongside my children and be the voice of encouragement for them. I am thankful for the teachers that spend the extra time working with them through their struggles as well as strength areas. Ultimately, I am thankful that I can be proud of my kids no matter what a test score says because we are a family and I love them to the moon - and back!!

day 53 - whoo hoo!

over the last several weeks i have been up to my eyeballs in design work and today my computer finally decided to give up on me.  at first i thought i was going to lose my mind and/or sanity.  THEN....

my new computer arrived!!  although it needed to be purchased a bit sooner than originally planned it couldn't have come at a better time.  i can't believe how fast and efficient it runs in comparison to my old one.  all i've got is a big WHOO HOO!!!

day 52 - thankful for...

tonight I am exceedingly thankful for my husband, Dave. I've been a bit crazy busy at work and have found myself working much longer hours recently. Fortunately this is not going to become or new normal as our "big" presentation will come and go by next Tuesday!
Dave reminded me today that he and I are a team, not through words but by his actions. I was already feeling myself losing it at the realization that I wasn't going to get dinner prepared as I had originally planned when Dave forwarded me the picture below and told me he had it under control and that everything was all right. Wow! Sometimes that's all you need to hear to find the encouragement to keep pressing forward. Thanks Dave for being such an amazing support!! And dinner was awesome!!

day 51 - crash

Why is it that my computer crashes a gagillion times when I need it to be working at its best. Forget it - I'm calling it a day!

day 50 - diller men love steak!

we decided rather last minute to make a quick trip to naperville to visit our mimi and papa.  they are in the final stages of finishing off a new addition on their house and we were anxious to see it.  WOW!! it's amazing!!

we met up for a fabulous dinner downtown naperville at sullivans steak house.  papa taught his oldest grandson how to appreciate a good cut of steak back when he was a toddler.  if you can't tell by caleb's expression, he is ready to dive in!  i am so thankful for my in-laws and love that we were able to steal away even for a quick trip to celebrate their new addition and just being together.

day 49 - craft sale

I walked in the house this evening after working all day to see Luke and Lilly positioned in the family room ready to sell their wares. I quickly learned the two had spent the day making crafts to sell to would be home dwellers (aka mom and dad). It tickled my heart to no end seeing all the items made as well as works of art painted, which Lilly informed me "were not for sale".

day 48 - family fun

it was a beautiful day to spend as a family!  we made the trek up to caberfae ski resort this morning for a sunny day of skiing.  it was a gorgeous day and we had a blast together.  all of the kids made their first successful runs down a black diamond. 

 here is caleb at the top of the black diamond about to go down! he was so excited!!

luke is telling me about his run and asking me to stop taking pictures - you would think he'd have learned by now that momma doesn't stop taking pictures for anything!!

 go dave go - let's see how high you can jump!

after skiing we headed into rockford to JD's Pizza Co. to celebrate susans 55th birthday.  it is always fun to all get together!  and of course the pizza was awesome!!!  if you haven't yet made your way out to JD's i highly suggest you check it out.  happy birthday susie - we love you!!!

day 47 - one project done

the kids came to work with with me this evening while dad and i finished painting the floor.  after it was all said and done we were able to spend a little extra time together around the dinner table and enjoy four baskets of chips and salsa and a delicious mexican meal!  the kids spent the majority of the evening showing off their magic tricks and telling stories to their papa.

it is so nice to cross one major "to do" off our re-model/construction list.  the floor turned out great and i can't wait to see the new fixtures come in and begin decorating!!!

day 46 - paint isn't just for walls

over the last several weeks i have been working on a remodel at work which includes the construction of a brand new showroom.  i have had the pleasure of working closely with my dad through this project and although the hours are long it's fun hanging with my pops!

we decided to paint the floor.  the base coat was painted last night and tonight we began the process of figuring out the faux finish we would do on the floor.  although we had already decided on a different "look" we had to call an audible when we realized the floor base paint had been done in urethane and we had planned on an acrylic.  to make a long story short; our original design wouldn't work and we needed to come up with a new design.

we finally came up with this pattern.  we ended up going with a different color and i can't wait to finish it up tomorrow!

day 45 - a very sweet valentines

when we asked what the kids wanted to do for dinner tonight in celebration of valentines luke was the first to respond with - PANCAKES!!! caleb added that we could have lots of fun toppings and lilly requested we make heart cookies to decorate.

 we all had so much fun filling our pancakes with fresh fruit, syrup, chocolate sauce, ice cream and whipping cream.  whoa! what a dinner!!!

then came the cookies.  i had them cooling while we ate so we could decorate them after dinner.  truth is, it ended up being me decorating cookies all by myself.  i think everyone else was in a sugar coma and spent the remainder of the night vegging out.  i did promise lilly i would save a few cookies she could decorate tomorrow.  happy valentines day!!

day 44 - care package

today we received a fun care package in the mail from our grom jennie in salt lake city.  the kids loved opening up their card and eating their yummy treat!

getting the valentines package in the mail today reminded me of all the years my mom sent me v-day packages while in college and beyond.  i loved getting those silly cards, yummy treats and little trinkets. thanks mom! we love you!

day 43 - sick and still smiling

i knew by late yesterday afternoon that lilly was definitely coming down with something.  the cough that sounded more like a bark and her overall demeanor was so un-lilly-like, i began preparing myself for a long night and upcoming day.  thankfully, she slept through the whole night (thank goodness for cough medicine). 

i spent the majority of the day with her in my arms cuddled watching movies - at one point she even fell sound asleep.  having her balled up on my lap snuggled in tight with her blanket, pillow pet and sucking on her fingers i was reminded of a time not that long ago when she was a baby swaddled in my arms. 

time goes by so fast and although i never wish for any of my kids to be sick, i did find myself treasuring my day holding my sweet little girl. 

day 42 - silly boys

the boys in my life are silly. they keep me laughing all the time and can bring out the "goofy" in just about anyone. as I came down the hill today they were waiting for me and Lilly in this pose.

day 41 - plcbc

We are spending the night up at camp tonight. We had a quite a dinner at the blue slipper (lots of memories) and played cards before dinner. Love my family and fun adventures!!

day 40 - "go to" dinner

our families "go to" dinner is stir fry!  i don't have a recipe (which is both annoying and great) - which is probably why it is our go to dinner when i can't think of anything else to make.  we try to make a menu every week, as fly lady instructed **side bar note** if you have not heard of fly lady go and check her out - we have been implementing many of her ideas/techniques for over the last 8 years.  i have said many, many times that she both saved my marriage and sanity **end of side note** but some weeks, no matter how hard you try to stay on top of your game, you fall behind.  we had no menu for this week, drum roll, STIR FRY!  the beautiful thing about this meal is opening your fridge and pulling out all the veggies you have, chopping them up adding garlic and then creating a sauce out of whatever ingredients you have available.  tonight i made a toasted sesame seed and spicy peanut sauce with veggies over brown rice - voila!  dinner is served and was quite delish if i don't say so myself.

so, the next time you are staring in your fridge trying to figure out what to make for dinner grab your wok or frying pan and make a stir-fry.  you don't even have to have meat - all those veggies are fabulous over brown or white rice!!!

day 39 - tongue twister

"three popular pigs partied on pogo sticks at the park" by Lilly Diller

Funny girl shared this at dinner tonight.

day 38 - long day

everyone has those days that start early and end late.  today just felt exceptionally long and i felt exceptionally inadequate at every level.  on my drive home from work (next to tears) my hubby reminded me that i wasn't letting him or the kids down and reminded me i was doing the best i could.  isn't it amazing how sometimes just hearing those simple words, "you're doing a good job and you're not alone" is all you need to hear.  i hate the idea that i may be giving off the impression that i have "it" all together or all my ducks in a row when the reality is i feel like i am falling apart and can't get/do anything right.  no, i'm not having a pity party for myself or looking for accolades, just sharing the truth.  HA! maybe i should wait and share this with my therapist as opposed to putting this out there for everyone else :)  oh well - welcome to my blog :) 

i love that dave knows just the way to make my heart melt and feel better.  he sent me this video to let me know he was there to take care of me and that i didn't always need to be the one to take care of everyone.  gotta love being a team player!!

in other "funny" diller family news.  i have heard several funny stories about what is in store for our family including:  dave taking a job in chicago at a mega church - dave starting a new church - dave taking on a new job as a professor....and to take the cake, dave being the new chaplain for the new york giants (he even got a call from the muskegon chronicle asking for an interview) -- too funny!!! the truth is - we have NO idea what God has in store for us next.  we love where we are, have no intentions of moving, love our church family and have absolutely no idea what tomorrow brings and are abundantly thankful for all we have today.

day 37 - the best parts of me...

i couldn't think of a better picture than me with dave and the kids as we are all FINALLY home after a week and half of traveling (with only a quick stint home in the middle).  they truly are the best parts of me!  i can't imagine walking through life with anyone but them and although i know my kids will grow up and move on (hopefully:)) i am blessed beyond words to be with them now and look forward to all the life dave and i have to share together through all the stages of our lives. 

day 36 - super bowl!!!

We had the amazing privilege to join one of the production crews and help out at the pre-game and half time show. There aren't enough words to express how awesome and surreal it all was. Standing at the patriots sideline a few feet in front of Tom Brady and shoulder to shoulder with Coach Belichick during the national anthem and then sitting on the field at about the 30 yard line for the halftime show - whoa!!!!!

day 35 - bring on indie!!

We made our way to Indianapolis this morning to meet up with our besties to hang out with them. More details to come tomorrow. I was told I wasn't allowed to spill anything :)

We did enjoy a fabulous dinner at Benihanas (Jamye's favorite!!) and shared a table with a family of one of the top executives from the patriots. After they left the table we quick googled him and found out his name was Floyd Reese and he is the senior football advisor for the team. Pretty cool.

day 34 nothing

I literally have nothing to blog about. It's not that today was a boring or even unproductive day. Just that there was nothing all that memorable. I love days like today. They make you feel normal and not quite so crazy. I hear my pillow calling my name.

day 33 - guinea's burial

lilly named her christmas present from two years ago guinea checkers diller.  we have affectionately called him "guinea" since then.  if you know me then you know i am not a fan of animals.  however, as i walked in the house today and saw the empty space in our kitchen where guinea's home once was and missed his chirp i began to cry.  it is amazing how death (even of a pet) allows you to see a different perspective of life.

we walked our kids through the grieving process of the only pet they have ever known by having them decorate a box to bury guinea in as well as place loving items and write a note.  we did not do this for the animal but for our kids.  some, or even many, may think we are corny or silly - but i don't care.  i love and adore my children and want them to know there is a place for things that may seem silly.  a place to cry over the death of guinea pig. a place to not fear death but celebrate life. and most importantly that their mom and dad love them more than they could ever imagine.

lilly asked that guinea be buried by the garden.  she felt that he would love to be by the parsley he loved to eat.  precious.

caleb has had the most difficult time with his emotions - there have been quite a few tears.  so, in the back of my head i keep thinking, are you allowed to bury a pet in your backyard? - ok, back to being sad with my kids.....

we did stand around the burial site and pray.  again, not for guinea but for our family.  i am oh so thankful for my sweet family and for the little pig who came into our lives for a moment.

day 32 - new art

after walking a trade show for the last three days i decided i needed to create myself.  seeing all sorts of art is inspiring.  vegas has been fun - but i'm ready for home. 

i used an old photo of a tree i took years ago - it is always fun to go into the archives and see what new things can emerge!

our guinea pig died this evening.  each of the kids are expressing their grief differently.  caleb's is with tears.  luke's is by being goofy.  and lilly is just quiet.  i wish i could have been home with them, face-time makes it a bit easier.